PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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