You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize