Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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