Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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