Kareoke will never be a sober sport
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize