I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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