brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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