I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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