so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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