Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize