You made me cry and you don't even care
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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