pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize