Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
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yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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