My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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