lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize