Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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