How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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