He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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