I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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