dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize