I wannas sexs uuuuu
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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