My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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