for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize