we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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