when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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