love makes seman taste better
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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