I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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