i don't like sucking hair
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i've created a new STD.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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