Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize