Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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