Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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