I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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