She's JV to your varsity
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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