Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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