you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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