mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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