all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
worst night to have a conscience
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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