No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize