My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize