hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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