i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
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