So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize