Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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