I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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