girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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