maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize