The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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