Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up under a house in Key West
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