I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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