I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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