I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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