Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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