time to smoke my breakfast
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You left your phone here
Wait...
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